How not to take things so personally

02.05.2021

Adéla Jarolímková

Do you feel offended and hurt regularly? Do you think that others despise you? Do you consider everything you do stupid or pointless? I guess some of you do because it is entirely normal among our society. I've been there too. But why does this happen so often, and how can we stop it?

What we need to realize is that it is all in our head. No one actually despises us or criticizes us; we just make up nonexistent scenarios in our minds. There are plenty of reasons why we do this - we are intense perfectionists, we are too harsh and strict on ourselves, we are afraid of hearing the truth, or we are just surrounded by the wrong people that make us feel worthless. But we need to stop taking everything so personally because it is just an additional complication to our life which we don't need. It is absolutely unnecessary, and I am going to give you some tips and strategies to avoid this for good.

First of all, stop worrying about what others think of you. It sounds cheesy but it is step one of this achievement. You don't need anyone's approval to have some opinion, to look a certain way or to dress differently. The most important is to feel comfortable with yourself. If you do, the others will sense it and respect it. If you underestimate yourself, the others will too. You need to show your strength and love for yourself if you want to get that back. It works as a mirror.

Next, keep in mind that everyone fights their own battle. When they say something insulting, usually it is because they are not happy with themselves, and it is their way of protection. All of the mean words and actions of other people have nothing to do with you but everything to do with them. Try to put yourself into their shoes, and maybe you will understand their behavior better.

Sometimes all you have to do is turn off. Stop listening for a moment and focus on yourself. Let them get their anger out, and then move on.

What should help you anytime in any situation is communication. If you feel that a friend of yours is mean towards you, talk to them. Tell them how they make you feel and ask them what triggers them, let them clarify the situation, and try to come up with a conclusion. It might be awkward at first, but it is definitely worth it.

Last but not least, surround yourself with people that support you and love you unconditionally. The environment and its people we interact with shape us. Get rid of toxic people because they only bring the negative. Remember to take from life only what would make you happy, form your life with that, and you will get much further.