Of a Gnome

   Anna Helclová

   I always looked forward to visiting my grandmother's house. Not only did she have something sweet ready for the kids every time, she was also an amazing gardener. Her garden felt somewhat magical to me, full of vines and branches of old crooked trees. Chirping birds used to fill up the rays of sunshine shining through the greeny leafs above you. Walking in, you were immediately filled with ease. Only there did I feel understood.  

    Being a fragile kid, I used to suffer with illnesses a lot. One time I had such a high fever that I had hallucinations and not many doctors gave me a chance. Hardly had I survived, but I started getting better and later healed fully. My parents decided that it would be for my best to recover close to nature, so they sent me to my grandma's house. 

    I used to sit in a hammock with freshly made tea and a book, just letting the time pass. But one day, something felt off. I heard some footsteps, but it wasn't my grandma's walk, I could tell. "Who is it?" I said, still with a husky voice. The movement suddenly stopped. I looked up from the hammock, but all I saw was a garden gnome. Out of the blue, the gnome blinked. I felt like I was getting sick again. "Who are you?" I asked him, not really hoping for a reply. "Gosh darn it how can yar' see meh, mortal? How did yar' spot meh?!" he yelled at me with a voice of a sixty year old smoker. Also with a thick irish accent. I couldn't decided what weirded me out more, a talking gnome or a person with such an irish accent not being a ginger. 

    I stared at him in awe as he walked around the garden, pulling up his at least one size too big pants muttering: "Meh pantaloons arr too large!" under his breath. I couldn't believe my eyes. All of a sudden he jumped into a burrow in the ground that I have never noticed. Again was I alone in my hammock, not believing that this had happened. 

    Eventually I tried to tell my grandma, but she denied ever even having a gnome. She actually called gnomes "those hideous things", so maybe that's why he was so salty.